Dental Clinics

By: Jojette Asumbrado Ramos

I have an obsession about going to dental clinics. I do not know where it came from but I just felt it. 

Yesterday, I was there again, I had an appointment for a tooth extraction. My scheduled time was 1pm, but of course, we always waited for the doctor to arrive. So, while waiting I indulged in reading a book which I always have every time I travelled. Engrossed in the story I had been reading, that when he was around I was taken aback. It was already 3pm. It made me think, I should be a doctor too, hmmm fat chance and I’d rather encourage my son to be one someday. Doctors can be very late with their appointments but could get away with it, clean slate. Their arrival means a salvation to your agonies and sleepless nights. They have the skills that will make your life more bearable, or rather to make the painful stimuli go away.

There was a young woman ahead of me, so patiently waited again for my turn. I had been there for hours; a few minutes were a chicken thing. Then, another woman arrived, we chatted of course, out of boredom. The usual, hi’s and hello’s was exchanged. Then she shared, she will be for root canal procedures, and that cost her three thousand pesos (P3, 000), well, just to let you know, how an RC cost. She asked about my purposed, the usual exchanged of information. Because, looking at her, she too was very nosy; I had to give her something too. Told her my purposed; tooth extraction, which will surely satisfy her. Then she ranted about how painful it was to have that procedure, the injection, and so on. She was indeed unstoppable in rambling. I had to really vocally tell her to stop talking about it. I said to her, you know what; you are not helping in any way what-so-ever. I am here, because I know it is the dentist that could make me feel better. There will always be a pain, but I am sure I could take it. Thank you very much for your input, which I am not really ignoramus about. Then, I smiled at her; she understood that I may be scared a bit, but I could suck it in. And could overcome what lies ahead, thank you very much.

The dentist called me in, I said hi nervously. He recognized of course, the trembling voice; he asked if I am alright. I answered honestly, not quite really, but I will be able to handle it. He said, well, please have a seat then. It means, on the dental chair with lots of gadgets attached to it. Some may find it weird, but that chair was the most comfortable chair ever. When I lie, it follows every contour of my back part; starting from my cervical, thoracic, lumbar, sacral and to my lower extremities and upper appendages too. It did relieve me of my stresses I was going through at that time. When I am lying down and the good dentist was preparing for the dental tools to be used. This was also the moment, that I do mental visualization, to relax me more, I let my mind travel to a specific place, where pain could be blocked. Before, I think of being on a beach wearing my colorful bikini, frolicking, and licking my three favorite flavored ice cream; mango, ube and macapuno. Then, while the procedure was going on, I played my mind, making it busy, at that time, trying to figure out if I was licking the mango, the ube or the macapuno. Therefore, I was so concentrated on what taste my tongue was into, instead of the pain I will be experiencing. It always does the trick really. The doctor had to call my attention twice after he was finished, because all thru out the procedure, I was having a grand party, hehehe.

But yesterday's visualization was a different one. My mind never travelled this time, it stayed where I am, but someone it seemed to travel towards me, holding my hand all throughout the procedure. It calmed me down, knowing the presence of the one who cares so much. It was the best mind travelled of all time. The sensation seemed so surreal, and it did, have greater effect that my ice cream fantasy. Then the dentist announced that we were done. Well, I just hope my imaginary friend did not feel the pain, when I squeezed the left hand. I had all the support and care that I needed, I am truly blessed.

Said my gratitude to my dentist, who is by the way Doctor Lindley Dela Torre. I could have embraced him, but of course, that is a no-no between patients and doctors. A simple declaration of thanks will suffice. He had given me a prescription for pain and for blood clotting purposes. After which, I went to the secretary and paid my dues. Smiled to the woman, I had chatted before, tempted to scare her too... but I resisted the wickedness of my intentions. Instead, blurted out the thankfulness of it all, and all done and finished, before she could open her mouth, and said something inappropriate again, because I could see it coming forming in her eyes, and I'd be damned to give her an opportunity to ruin my day.

There was a pharmacy nearby, immediately purchased the medicines. I could feel the anesthesia ebbing away. It was making me nervous and uneasy. The insides of me were shaking, in fact I think, I was literally shaking thru my bones. I am close to panic, summoned my will power to keep my composure, to wait, for my number to be called, it felt like eternity. When I got hold of the medicines, I had to take it the soonest. Oblivious of the people around me, my sole mission at that time was to make the pain under control. Rushed out of the pharmacy, and then hailed a taxi to take me home. Address to the driver to change the radio station into soft music, because at the time, hearing problems from other people was not my concerned, it only added to my pain. The soothing music was a relieved, then I closed my eyes, and visualized again.

Saddened

The feelings that I have now is confusing. I tried to control it, but it's bugging me so much. The sadness I felt is beyond what I expected. This is the times, I know I will run and be gone from the world. To hide, and to be with myself. A need to be seen as a special person by someone, but I am just wishing for things that will never be.

By: Jojette Asumbrado Ramos

My soul will only cry in solitude, waiting for the one who is still not aware that I am the one that will complete him. Our souls always meet, but along the way, it refuses to acknowledged fully that we belong to each other. I am tired of waiting, of being patient, to see me as the one that it needs for the nourishment of each other.

In this life, I had given up, that we will consume our perfect connection. I am ready, to give it up. Maybe in the next life, we will be able to meet again, and maybe it will be a perfect time and place.

The pain, the disappointments, the angst...are just too much to bare. I have to let it go. You are free, I am setting you go. It's a miracle and full of mystery, we were able to meet; but we are not destined to do it for real. Everything we stand for are on opposites to one another.

My love, I am setting you free. 

Is Santa Claus Real?

by: Jojette Asumbrado Ramos

The question propped up yesterday, it was asked by my 8-year old son. I have to admit, it took me awhile to answer the simple inquisition. A very innocent, yet, it needs some decisions on my part as his mother. Should I tell him the truth, or make him believed of the magical and wonder in the persona of Santa Claus?

For a split second, a thought dawned to me. 'My son has a lifetime in the near future to know the truth about Santa Claus, but he will only be a child for a short while'. So, I answered him. "Yes, Santa Claus is real. He will ride on a sleigh, with all his magical reindeers, flying thru the sky with tons of toys for good kids just like you...especially YOU because you are a good boy". His eyes twinkled with joy and wonder, and a smile on his lips. I could see from his expressions on his face, that there were many thoughts in his mind too. This was the part, I braced myself, I know what will happened next. Oh yeah, the list of toys just tumbled down, ranging from Iphone, tablet, laptop, helicopter, a room with coded gadgets, a car that resembles batman mobile, and doors that will open only for body scanning of the authorized family only. 'Holy shit!'- that's right, imagine my shocked hearing those things from my 8-year old son. How am I supposed to respond to that?

I had to clear my throat first before I explained. I told him, "Santa is a very busy man, he will be granting wishes to many kids too. Whatever he will give you be happy with it. It is the thought that counts". I added, with regards to his other wishes, it will be a reality but maybe not that soon, let us not burden Santa so much. Might as well, we all make those for real, by & by, with our own ways. "Okay", he said, he was still so full of ideas. 

I indulged to his creative mind, and we ended in the discussion what kind of commands to use with the coded doors. He pointed out that, encoding thru the use of the fingers were common already. I suggested, maybe the 'breathing' could be it. Or as he added, a scanner to scan the authorized persons only, or maybe using the eyes in the encoding of numbers thru looking at it. Then I go wild, by suggesting, how about a code that will encode just by thinking the number. And with that, he said, "Cool". Then we proceeded designing the helipad. 

So, if your kids will ask you this question, "Is Santa Claus real?". Please answer YES, because to them Santa means magic, wonder, adventure and the act of being good to others, to give happiness to everybody especially the children. Talking about Santa Claus with my son, makes me a believer too. He already believed that Santa is real. I think, that question he uttered was the thing that is in my subconscious, buried with cynicism of adulthood. My son unwittingly, had given me a precious gift indeed, the gift of wonder and to reminisce my childhood happiness.

Presidente Supremo Andres Bonifacio

By: Jojette Asumbrado Ramos

Born as Andres Bonifacio y de Castro on the 30th of November 1863 in Tondo, Manila. Considered as the Father of the Philippine Revolution. Which I believed that he was really so. He founded the secret revolutionary society called the Katipunan movement or the Kataastaasang Kagalanggalangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (KKK / " Highest and Most Respected Society of the Country's Children").

The Katipunan was a secret society, with it's main objective was to have an independence from the Spain's colonial government by armed revolution.

When Rizal was deported to Dapitan in 1892, due to his political agenda for reforming the Spanish government in our country; and of organizing a group called La Liga Filipina. In the absence of Rizal; Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini and others  pursued and revised the group Rizal had started.

Bonifacio had been working on both organizations; the La Liga Filipina of Rizal and of the Katipunan, which he founded by himself. As the middle and lower classes had lost hope in the movement for reform from the Spanish government, many had joined instead fully to the Katipunan, which involved more radical changes thru armed revolution and oustering the Spanish colonialism from our country.

The Katipunan had it's own laws, bureaucratic structure and elective leadership.

Bonifacio had developed a friendship with Emilio Jacinto, which became his adviser and confidante. He applied the Kartilya primer of Jacinto instead of his Decalogue, because he believed Jacinto's Kartilya was much more superior. This already showed, that Bonifacio was humble enough in his abilities and also, gave credence to the talents of other members. A democratic in dealings with people around him.

In every secret society, there should be a publication to expressed their missions and aspirations for the organization, they had created Kalayaan ( Freedom). A collaboration between Bonifacio, Jacinto and Pio Valenzuela. It was sad really, they only created one printed issue. Bonifacio had written lots of articles in it, one of which was the poem entitled "Pag-ibig sa Tinubuang Lupa" ( Love for One's Homeland), he used a fictitious name Agapito Bagumbayan.

The Kalayaan publication in 1896 allowed them to recruit more members to the cause; from less that 300 to 30,000 to 40,000 members by August 1896.

Then the Philippine Revolution had begun.

Thru my readings, Bonifacio was the Presidente Supremo of the Philippines. He should be in equal footing with Dr. Jose Rizal, as a National Hero. His love for our country was unparalleled.

Magtanim ay Di Biro

by: Jojette Asumbrado Ramos

Had the time at last to tend my mini garden in pots. For an hour, I was able to re-pot, uproot and replant. When I finished, I am deeply satisfied gazing at my work. It looked healthy enough, and I am sure with a little water to this and that, it will flourish in no time at all.

My way of doing things at the same time; I wanted to breathe fresh air, and while I am at it, I took the opportunity to beautify my withering plants. It's a good thing, I am still able to salvaged some plants. Tomorrow, it will be the tending the terrace plants.

What it takes to be a General?

It was year 1989, I was in high school then. There was a coup attempt to our government which was led by the now defunct Reform the Armed Forces Movement (RAM), led by the infamous Col. Gringo Honasan. Which by the way, is like a son to Senator Juan Ponce Enrile; the same person, whose name is link to the Priority Development Assistance Fund scam or what is commonly known as the "Pork Barrel Scam". Which our country had breed another infamous person, Janet Napoles. She is the person who made this quote a household parody, "I invoked my Right Against Self-Incrimination".  But that is not the point I am wanting to give focus to. In that year, I had seen a very magnanimous leader in the midst of disarray and fear. The Commandant Of the Philippine Marine had shown a tremendous leadership, that until now no one had yet surpassed, it was Rodulfo Biazon.

Biazon had done a heroic act, commanding the Philippine Marine like just like a Master in a chess tournament, moving this and that, mobilizing everything inorder to toppled down the coup against the Aquino government. I was amazed by his tactics in warfare as well as the bravery and leadership he had delivered. The media were all over him, but it never deterred him from doing what ought to be done. It wa a memory I would always cherished. At the end of the chaos, he was on top of everything, victorious and indeed a hero of the existing government at that time, as well as of the general public.

General Biazon was the third Armed Forces Chief of Staff of the 5th Republic. He was the first to come from the ranks of the PMC.

My concern now, with the onslaught of the typhoon Yolanda. The disorganized ways and slow delivering of goods and of man-power, makes me wonder. When are we going to see our present Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, Lt. Gen. Emmanuel T. Bautista; in action? I just hope you will do the Biazon way, make us proud; make your own legacy, the table is set, it is yours for the taking. Bedazzled us all and may we see our soldiers in action, too.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Loving Till It Hurts

The anguished of loving someone is hurting, when the the recipient do not reciprocate the love and attention you've given.

Call me a romantic fool, but I still believe in love. This world maybe crowded with cynics and unemotional people; but without love, this world will lacked it's luster. The way I see it, many are afraid to indulge to loving feeling, because maybe, in their past...they had experienced disappointments and rejections. It is a sad matter to reckon. But it should not hampered us to show our tenderness to each other. Through this, we will make this world a better place. Never close the doors for your happiness. All we need is to take chances, to make ourselves vulnerable to hurt; it is only then we can say we are ready to be happy.

When someone is still cautious of being hurt, what will happen is; that same person is also closing the door for happiness, of being loved unconditionally. You might not know, that was your only chance to be totally free and be happy in your dear life. When you find the love shining brightly in your life, at the very moment; hold it like a buoy when you are in the vast ocean. That is the best thing a person could give you. A love heartily given by someone, is a very rare gift, indeed. A fool, I will say to you, if you will let go of that. Never ignore, because just like a flower; if not being taking cared of, will wither.

If love is in your midst, please do care of it. It might not stay for long, if you keep your distance always. Make all the effort to keep it burning, when it flickers, it will be too late. And your happiness will be oblivion.

A Letter for the President

For President Noynoy Aquino (P-Noy):
Good day to our Beloved President,

Reading the news regarding the Tacloban stricken area, with the residents there still not having food and water for five days already. And with the decomposing bodies just lying around. These scenarios are not a good thing, it could cause a massive health hazards.

I had seen how dedicated you are in alleviating the conditions of the affected people. But correct me if I am wrong; my observation is this, it seems nobody got your back. You become a leader with no followers.

I could vividly see, that the LGU's in the said area are not functioning and not doing their job in leading and mobilizing their people.

Mr. President, sir, if these leaders are not working for you. Then, may I suggest, you create a task force and make it to be in-charge of this situation, maybe call it "Yolanda Task Force". You have to pick good, and charismatic leaders, that could command their people under them. It is pretty obvious, you can't do it alone. You need to trust your leaders.

There are many who would like to volunteer in our country to help the victims. As a leader, it is up to you where to look for these resources. Be a leader that will encourage people to move and awaken our "Spirit of Bayanihan". It is an innate character for us Filipinos; all we need is a leader who will be the voice to lead us.

God bless you, Mr. President Aquino. May you have good health always, specially in this time of trials in our beloved country, Philippines.


Yours Truly,
Jojette Asumbrado Ramos
mother and a believer of good governance for the Philippines

Mind and Heart

If I use my heart, it wants to believed you are special; someone who cares and nurtures. Could be also

be longing for me, to cradle me when in distressed. To run beside me, when needing your comfort and consolation.

But my mind, says otherwise. It sees how you are, an emotional detached person, unable to care because, deep in your heart it is devoid of emotions. How could it be? I want to argue with my mind, but lo, even my heart knows the answer. I am just hoping against hope. My heart maybe strong, but it will never be enough.

Ang Bomba

For two days, we had experienced scarcity of water. This was due to the super typhoon Yolanda, which hit our city last Friday, 8th of November. Because of that, my family and I were able to locate a handful of manual water pumps in our village or barangay, and to some neighboring barangays too. These ancient looking pumps, which before very common sightings, at a time there were still no faucets in every household. We call these things as "BOMBA", in my mother tongue, which is Visayan language, that I love so much.

These "bomba" thou old and seemed to be outdated, had given us the basic of all- WATER. One could live without electricity and not be updated in Facebook, Twitter, Blog site and other sites, whatsoever. But one can not do without water. I am so grateful of these thing which gives us the necessary thing in our life.

In our barangay, I had learned that there were at least four "bomba" around, I think there are more, but so far, that is sufficient for me to supply what we need. I had seen also, in another barangay, a water pump which is very visible to public's eye. I never realized, it's importance until we needed it.

When I saw "bomba" along the way, a glee feeling ignited in me. There were many people getting water in there, patiently waiting for their turn to pump those long handle, and be able to fetched some water. People of all walks of life, taking turns in pumping water. The best part, while waiting for our containers to be filled; we chatted about the calamities we were experiencing. I never knew, that the "bomba" could be a great venue for conversation.

Calamities, scarcity and trials... allowed us to connect to each other and to God, too. Thru it, God makes us realized that He is always here, giving us the help to just go thru our lives. We do not need to be complicated; life is simple. If we needed something, these are just available to us for our taking. It is just a manner of where to look. We do not need to panic or to do hoarding of things and food. In the end, God is always providing us.  Have FAITH in Him always.

For water, we have "bomba"- which had been with us since time immemorial. Our land is so fertile with water, a vast of it. All we need is to calm down, and fall in line and wait for our turn to pump those thing. And for what you know, you'll enjoy the experience. Because we did.

Bubble Economy

What is Bubble Economy? I thought, the "bubble" word is only used for bathing purposes. But lo, it is also an Economist vocabulary. Also, there is the word Bubblequake and Aftershock. It just sounds like an Earthquake per se. So why I am talking gibberish, well, I will just promote the two books of controversy lately by the billionaires in the USA and how it causes havoc in the stocks exchange. The name, Warren Buffet comes up, so I am interested, who wouldn't right? It will be good to feel like your rubbing elbows with the billionaires.

In 2006, Robert Wiedemer, David Wiedemer, PhD and Cindy Spitzer; a team of economists accurately predicted the collapse of the U.S. housing market, equity markets, and consumer spending that almost sank the United States. They published their research in the book America’s Bubble Economy. Which I posted below.

Because of the accuracy of the prediction of the economy in their book, it establishes Wiedemer as a trusted voice. Recently, they also published another book entitled Aftershock. Also shown below.

Ang Tsinelas ni Avkez

It rained so much. I had to buy a new pair of slippers for Avkez because the one he was using awhile ago, was swept by the flood. Since I idolized Rizal, I told my son to let go of the other slipper too. At least, when somebody will find it, he or she could use it.

Avkez said, "Nay, pwede isa ra kabuok ato paliton nga tsinelas?". "Hahaha, anak wala may mupalit ug isa lang," I answered. The people around were laughing, well at least, even if it was raining and flooding, we, Filipinos could still find the reason to be gay. "O sige na, ipa-anud nanang isa." He asked innocently," Kay ngano 'Nay?"..."Kay dili nana nimo magamit, useless nana, kinsay mugamit ug isa lang ka tsinelas, abir?". He giggled, then let go of his other slipper to the flood. I told him then, about the story of Rizal and his slippers too. Just like him, Rizal did throw his other slipper too.

Together, we watched the slipper floating gaily.

The Ring of Fire

The Ring of Fire is not a ring after all; it is a horseshoe.

What is the Ring of Fire then? It pique my interest to know more, since of the recent incident that our country had been experiencing. As I goggled, I found out, that it is an area where a large number of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions occur in the basin of the Pacific Ocean. It is associated with nearly continuous series of oceanic trenches, volcanic arcs, and volcanic belts and /or plate movements.

The earthquake that we had yesterday, 15th of October 2013 with a magnitude of 7.2 in Cebu and Bohol province; it did not involve volcanic eruption, therefore the cause could be plate movements.

The Ring of Fire has 452 volcanoes and is home to over 75% of the world's active and dormant volcanoes. It is also called Circum-Pacific Belt or the circum-Pacific Seismic Belt. About 90% of the world's earthquakes and 81% of the world's largest earthquakes occur along the Ring of Fire.

The Philippines, is in the Southeast Asia in the western Pacific Ocean. It's location on the Pacific Ring of Fire and it's tropical climate make our country prone to earthquakes and typhoons.

The Beauty of Innocence

Today, my son has a project for his Science subject. They were told to bring stems from various plants such as the santan, san francisco, gumamela and also, of spices found locally like the onions, garlic and ginger.

Last night, I told him to remind me tomorrow, that we could just get the spices in the refrigerator, and the plants in our little garden. Because of the rushing of events in the morning,both of us forgot about it. We only remembered, when we were already in a vehicle.

I told him, "Anak, we will just pick something along the way. I'm pretty sure there are lots of flowers along the way." But, of course, it means somebody owned it, and that I did not expound to him. He answered, "Okay 'nay," hesitantly. I think, he was like having a conversation within himself.

Then I found the flower to remedy to our predicament. A santan flowers in the school garden. Oh yeah, the one which were protected by three feet grilled fences. All I have to do is bend a little bit and get a small stem from its body. As, I was going to pick one stem, my son seemed to be uneasy. I asked him why. Even without saying really, I know what was in his mind. He said, " 'Nay, don't pick that flower, the school owns it." I said, "I know, we will only get one stem, it will grow back again," as I continued to get the stem. He was like looking all around him, looking guilty and so afraid to be reprimanded. I know, I am fully to be blamed of what he was feeling. I can not help but suppressed my giggle  inside, my son is so innocent in many ways. I just hope, we could make them at that stage always in their lives.

And so i gave the santan to him; he would never touched the flower. As if it is a poisonous snake. I just shoved it to his bag, and said, "There you go! Now you have a specimen, do not worry much, the flower will grow back again. Next time, do not forget your assignments, that this scenario will not happen again." His agreement is so fast and abrupt, that I know he will see to it next time he will prepare his specimens at night.

What I did was wrong, and I do not recommend it to anybody. My son is a better person than I am, and I am proud of him. He is the symbol of goodness and purity. An angel in my midst.

Innocence is very rare to find nowadays, and be able to see it in the eyes and action of my son, is a blessing. A whiff of fresh air.

The Path I will be Trodding

Fate had found me; and I accepted it as it is. My life will be a pathway of emptiness, void & unfeeling. But I will push thru. The strength that moves me, to continue, is the love that I have for my son. There might be mountainous challenges ahead, but I know I will survive it. I know, I must.

I could not falter, I could not fall. The existence of my son depends solely to me. If I will be the sacrificing lamb, then let it be. I now know the purpose of my life. To be the source of encouragement to those around me. Whatever I felt inside, will be irrelevant now. I have an inner strength that even me is amazed that I have. I could internalize sadness... and I could turn it into an opportunity to push more to perfection.

Right now, an innate strength is in motion. Nature is setting another course for me. I will walk the path least traveled.

Bird's Song

   Why does a bird sings? Could it be a code? Of what? It's singing a foreign language; something to be uncoded, or just to let it be. Whatever its meaning; the music made is a beauty to ones ears.

   Why is it beautiful?

   The twitting I could not understnd, but gives happiness; a gift from Nature. Ever thankful of the things around, which I could not understand, but enjoyed. 

   A mystery to behold, because I could not give a specific answer. Should I complain of the Nature's gifts? Everyday, as we wake up, the hand of Nature is at work. In good mood or not, but still the beauty around us continued to yield.

   Aware or unaware, things around us happened like a precise clock without missing a bit. 

   A bird sings without giving us it's meaning; but our heart is at glee. Peace that can not be fathomed. Could it be a code to be deciphered? Then, who have the talent or the key to unlock it? May Nature reveals itself to the receptive ones.

   

On Dying

If I will be having my last breath
Let me repose into your arms
The comfort and warmth
Makes death; a welcoming kiss
Being with you, makes my life complete
A sigh; a breathe; I had been holding for so long
Death maybe end
But somehow, I know it is only the beginning...

The Need to go Back

I was 10 years old, in grade 4.

It seemed I am just an ordinary girl. But I know deep inside, I am different from the others. There were moments that I preferred to watch the children around me. To just be a mere expectator. It was like being there, but just recording everything around me. Distance from the going-ons. Hearing all the things, contented of the chatters all around. When the teacher was out, the class was entrusted to me. To huzzed them,when they were getting boisterous.

I seldom transfer from one chair to another. If the teacher was out, I just write on my journal/diary, or just read my books. What the teacher says, I always follow. I had this eagerness to pleased my teachers. To do what was right and what was expected of me. Which lands me as the teachers' pet. Even to my classmates, I always see to it that they were given fair chance of my time. I listened to them. Always giving them advises, that made me feel as if I am so senior to them. But, what I observed, is that I never seemed so keen in asking anybody in helping me. When I had questions before, I just contend in solving it myself. Everything was boiled down deep inside.

After, every classes, I ran going home. I wanted to be home as early as I could. I misses my lola & lolo always. One thing that gave me enjoyment were the stories my grandparents shared to me. Also, I knew, a snack will be there for me waiting. I loved the champorado that my lola prepared, it was a rice podding with cocoa. But most of all, her stories. My lolo too, was so good in sharing the events of our small town. My life then was so simple, but the happiest.

Let Me Bleed

There are many things I wanted to say, but I always choose to keep it. Opted to be quiet at times, for others to speak. But when I do voice out my ideas, that is consistent with what I feel. I maybe judged of what I write, but I care no more. I am who I am, that is who I am.

What is Time? - A borrowed moment, and will never be taken back. It's face changes as we evolved in our daily lives. Every day is a 24- hour moment, but never a time of same existence. An hour, a minute, a second...we changed. A bit of us, aged gradually. If you feel a time to say something good, say it, because if you postponed, it might loose it's impact and meaning.

About People? - Every person is unique in many ways. Do not judged them, unless you know them fully. And if you know them already, you do not want to judged them either. People act as they do, because of their past experiences in life. Generally, all of us, just wanted full acceptance. I wanted to be accepted as I am. So, I am very open to accept others as they are. It will be a pure happiness, if they choose to reveal themselves to me. I give what I could share, even if sometimes it hurts.

About Love? - When I fall, I fall. Happy is he whom I had given my heart. I am yours until you break it. I still believe in true love, and because of that our world looks much more promising. It is love to one another, that we strive for Peace and Tranquility.

Broken Pieces

Once a mirror is broken can not be mended. 

Life is in parallel with mirrors. Started as a wonderful and hopeful visions. Like looking at our clear reflection. As time passes by, along with it the challenges. It will create a cracked, forgiving  will heal it, but there will be dents. When these happens frequently, peeking at it, will give lots of unsettling and different facets.


Shattered many times, it gives so much reflections. 

There are moments, when experiences, changes a persons' perception. The reflections are still the same, in a way, only this time, there are lots in there. A person, had become broken to pieces. Developed a multi-version of one's self. To be whole, it needs to mend internally. But, when looking at it...you'll see bits of reflections.

The Dream I Had Last Night

I was standing in a suite room. As I go near the wide glass window, I saw the other room, it was opened fully, an array of gowns were in there. The room was used as a display area for the owners' creations, I think she is a designer. All the gowns in there were beautifully made, with lustrious colors every girls and women would love to wear. I am transfixed...then I had felt someone was looking at me too. It was the designer herself. It will not be good to continually staring gowns right, while she was doing the same to me, right? So, I went inside my room, and alas! I had a white gown in there. I was taken aback, tried to recall when I bought it, where and for what purpose. Then, I woke up...

Another Chapter

Life is like a book. Unfolding, unraveling in every chapters of our lives. We wanted to stay on the most memorable and joyful part, but it has its end. Longing and holding to that phase, no matter what... it is just time to move on.

Another chapter, starts at hand. Can not turn back, the previous one is done. Life, is a moving forward direction, never backwards. What is done, all belongs to the past. Only for remiscing but never to be relived.

Every single day, we changed. Although, we are not aware most of the time; every experiences , made impact to each of us. Develop a consciousness, which is very unique from your previous self.

When a person, opens another chapter, the great ink of life starts scribbling. Please write it well.

My Long Lost Friend

Kindhearted, and peaceful man
A gentleman to reckon
In him, I found friendship that is relaxed, no pretensions
Exchange of ideas just flows
What could be your secret?
I seemed to feel your good vibes
Could be an inner light, perhaps?
Whatever that is;
I am glad we are friends.

Philippines, my Beloved Country!

Happy Independence Day, my Beloved Country and Countrymen, Philippines!!!

May we continue the Legacy of our Ancestors
Sacrificed their blood; for Us to be Free from Foreign Hands
Let Us be Vigilant, then; this is the only Country we can call Our very Own
The very place We will always comes Home to
We are Great and Loving People
But there's also a need to Stand our Ground at times
To Protect Ourselves from Intruders
Exert all our efforts then to Strengthen, where we are Vulnerable
Freedom is Sweet; but it has to be Cared and Nurtured forever!!!

I am Proud to be a Filipino.

The Art of Seeing

"Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization." - Annie Dillard

As we go to our daily routines in life, there are many things going around us, happening before our very eyes. But, we do not see them all, because our senses are preoccupied with our works. If you want to see the very things, around you, there is a need to redirect your senses and give focus on things and events, that never gives interest to you before.

Just observe the surroundings, then time seems to slow down. Amazingly, you will see everything, the details how people move, what they do, their expressions as they talk to the person infront of them. How the body moves synchronically to achieve certain tasks, without much thinking from the person involve. People move like a clock, with precision and great timing. Nature even move in a certain way, we are not aware of, but it is there, supplying the very life for all of us, unceasingly.

"Launch into the deep and you shall see." - Dillard

If we want to see things at the very details, there is a need for immersion. A need to be there, to be able to wonder the very occurrence of things. To let Nature takes its toll, letting it unravel it's true form. It may not turn out as you had expected it, but knowing could give plentiful of knowledge.

"The secret of seeing is, then, the pearl of great price." - Dillard

All, we will surely admit, that we wanted to master the Art of Seeing. It would be great to be an spectator of the things around us, and to be able to interpret the coding of Nature. But sad to say, this art, this pearl maybe found, but it may not be sought.

This will be more explicitly described by Annie Dillard as:

"The literature of illumination reveals this above all; although it comes to those who wait for it, it is always, even to the most practiced and adept, a gift and a total surprised."

It will just come to you, in a very unexpected time and moment. A euphoria, where nobody could hear or could know. A moment of peace, solitude, and a feeling of great strength but at the same time humbled with the gift endowed. When Enlightenment comes, you just know, you have a power within, it should be cared, and shared to those willing to listen and will treasure it too.